Bullying is never acceptable, and if you, as a parent, become aware your child is being bullied or is a bully, you need to take charge to fix the situation.
There are many different forms of bullying, including in-person and online. The Center for Disease Control, also known as the CDC, and the Department of Education, define bullying using three major components. These components are unnecessary aggressive behavior, a power imbalance, and a reputation for bullying behavior. Parents should step in and reach out to the school (or coach, etc.) and the involved parents if their children are involved. Even if you do not know the family and how to reach them, there are ways to find their contact information using new advanced people search engines. The information from this search may also give you great insight and background on the parents you will be speaking with.
According to StopBullying.gov, about 20% of students have experienced some form of bullying in their lives between the ages of 12-18 years old. Students that are bullied also may experience low self-esteem and do more poorly in school. Studies have shown that bullied children felt like their bully influenced them to act a certain way and had more power than them. Bullying occurs almost anywhere. About 43.4% of bullying happens in school hallways, 21.9% outside of school, and 15.3% of bullying happens online. And about 41% of children who got bullied thought it would happen again to them.
The extraordinary thing is that most parents are unaware that their child has a bully. Even if the parents know that their child has a bully, it can be tough to understand how bad it is. Some parents think bullying is spreading rumors or a few laughs in the hallway, but it is much more than that. About 13% of students who reported bullying said they were made fun of, called mean names, and excluded from particular groups. Most times, the bullies are not random people that their children attend school with.
Even if a child is open with their parents about their bully, most kids will leave specific facts out of their story because it is too embarrassing to share. So why do students bully other students? Well, it is usually because of a power imbalance. The answer is not entirely straightforward, but it is often because of physical appearance, weight, race, gender, religion, disability, and sexual orientation.
Warning Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied
- Comes home with bruises on their body
- Has a decreased appetite
- Having a hard time sleeping
- He talks about having nightmares often.
- Avoids seeing friends.
- Grades start to decline.
- He pretends to be sick to miss school.
- He tells you that they are thinking about running away from home.
What to Do If Your Kid Is Undergoing Issues With A Bully
If a parent is aware that their child is getting bullied, they should act out immediately. Although bullying does not directly cause suicide, it is a critical factor that can lead a child into doing so. That is why acting fast on fixing your child's bullying situation is vital.
Parents should immediately report the behavior to the school or coach or group where the bullying is taking place. Parents may also wish to reach out to their child's bully’s parents. This should be done in a thoughtful, non-confrontational manner.
The parent will often find that the bully’s parents had no idea what was happening, and the problem may be solved right away.
Of course, before you talk to your child's bully, make sure you gather all the information you can from your child about their experiences. Your child will most likely be scared to have you talk to the bully's parents and tell you no, you can't speak with them. This response is typical for kids. According to officials in the public health field, it is good to discuss what bullying is and its effects on your child. Therefore, you should have a calm conversation with your child about the bully and how talking to their parents is positive. It is essential to have these conversations with your child to feel empowered to face their bully by themselves one day.
Most kids will sometimes think what they are going through is just "drama," but it falls under the definition of bullying. It is best if you encourage your children to keep doing the activities and hobbies that they love. Continuing to do their hobbies will help boost their self-esteem, which is essential during these times.
Your child might want to give the bully a taste of their own medicine. But to prevent your kid from becoming a bully themselves, keep being a good role model on how to treat people. Once you get into the rhythm of educating your child about bullying and keeping them in a positive state, you may wish to contact the bully's parents.
How Parents Can Reach Out To the Bully's Family
Contacting your child's bully's parents may seem daunting. Still, you will often find it a very positive experience in the end, as long as you approach the parents in a non-confrontational and non-emotional way. Otherwise, you will immediately put them on “the defensive,” and the interaction may end up worse, not better.
It may be helpful to think and even write down what you are going to say to them. This action will ensure that you get everything off your chest. Keep in mind the parents likely are not even aware that their child is a bully. It is best to bring the issue up slowly in the conversation. If the parent does not believe you that their child could be a bully, do not be defensive yourself. Just calmly explain the information you have.
How To Contact The Parents And Find Out Some Background First
Step one is finding out the name of your bully’s parents or their address. This is often done through information from friends or school. Next, input the name and location (or their address) into one of the new, advanced people search engines to locate the parents' contact info. gladiknow.com is one of our favorites. Advanced people search technology searches through public records (online and offline) to locate anyone in the United States - over 600 million public records. Find anyone fast and confidentially, including phone numbers, email, social media, criminal history, home addresses, family members, and much more.
Once you have the parents’ contact information and some great insight on them, you can decide how you want to reach out. It is best to reach out in a thoughtful and friendly manner. You can shoot them an email that goes along these lines: "Hey Susan, I am Christopher's mother. I am not sure if you are aware, but our kids have had a few school incidents. It would be great if you and I could get a coffee sometime to talk about it, and together come up with a good solution. It would be great to meet you as well!” The parents will most likely respond with a pleasant response because no one wants their kids hurting or harming others.
For more information on the new, advanced people search engines, check out this video.
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