If someone tells us they were adopted, or that they adopted a child or children, how do we react? How do we feel? What do we say? Adoption is a topic that some of us may still not feel 100% comfortable talking about. When a person says they would like to adopt, do we automatically assume that is because they cannot have their own biological children? Are we thinking (or saying) "why don't you want your 'own' kids"? This is why it is important that we educate ourselves on the different forms of adoption, the statistics and on the process of finding biological parents.
Opened and Closed Adoption
Adoption can be challenging to explain to people, in particular when it comes to telling your child that they are adopted. Many parents share this important information when their children are very young, even before they really "understand" what that means. They grow up knowing all along they are "adopted" and develop an understanding of what that means, little by little as the years go on. This obviously eliminates what could be a shocking moment if this is revealed for the first time later in life. In contrast, some parents wait until their children are at least 16 or 18 years old to inform them that they are not their biological parents.
It is of course a very important moment and should be delivered in the best way possible. When mothers put up their children for adoption, they get different options, two of the most known options are closed or open adoptions. Closed adoptions are when the children and the non biological parents have no relationship and little to no information about the biological mother and father. This action includes not providing the adoptive family with any health records, birth parents' names, location, or memorabilia.
Back in the 1900s, adoption agencies sealed adopted children's birth certificates, and they were given brand new birth certificates. The agencies did this because of the stigma of single mothers. This stigma caused the biological mothers to have less power in their child's adoption decision-making process because people thought they were "unfit". But in the 1970s, this stigma lessened, and more people started pursuing open adoptions.
Open adoption is when the birth parents agree that their child can have relations with them even if they are not the caretakers. About 95% of adoptions are open adoptions. Open adoption is where the children can contact their biological parents if they wish to do so. Open adoptions have a positive impact on the adopted child because it helps them with their identity development. Not only that, but it allows the child to access medical records and allergy information.
Some biological parents still choose to do a closed adoption because they do not want their children to be a part of an unhealthy environment. Other times, the mother finds it too hard to watch her child grow up in another household. However, open adoption is more popular nowadays because biological mothers prefer to know if their child is happy and living a good life. Parents now have the ability to choose which method they want, which is making a huge difference in many childrens lives.
Why Do Parents Adopt?
About 23,000 children age out of the foster system each year? For these kids, this means that when the children reach age 18, they are no longer cared for by foster care and have to fend for themselves with no support from parents or adults. Only three percent of foster children end up going to college, while 70% have said that they would like to go to college, according to the Children's Home Society. About 1 in 2 foster children will develop a substance abuse problem.
Seven out of ten children that age out of the foster care system will become pregnant before the age of 21. This high pregnancy rate is a huge issue because these children usually do not have the funds or parental guidance to care for them and their children, causing them to put their child up for adoption, creating a cycle. Because there is only so much a foster parent can do for their children, it can be challenging to cater to their needs. That is why about 60% of boys who age out of the system get convicted of a crime. This result can be due to a lack of mentorship. By adopting, you are allowing these children to have a chance to enter society and succeed. If these children stay in foster care, they will undergo many barriers that are sometimes impossible to avoid. But also do not adopt because of these sad statistics.
How To Search For Your Biological Parents Or Any Relative
For people born into closed adoption, I have heard diverse stories about their emotions on the situation. I have some friends who do not want anything to do with their biological parents and feel resentment towards them. On the other hand, I have friends that have hired private investigators to find their birth parents. However, that can be a very expensive and time consuming way to find out information. Someone close to me did this, and the search lasted for three years, and the overall payment to the investigator was hefty. Everyone has their path regarding whether or not they want to meet their biological parents. Here is someone's journey born into a closed adoption and what their experiences were.
Based on my friends' experience, I've learned that some people just want to know who their biological parents are, and that’s it. Another great solution for locating your biological parents, or finding out information about them (confidentially) or ANY family member, are new advanced people search engines like gladiknow.com.
These platforms give you all the resources you need to find out information on your biological parents, or any family member. Always 100% confidentially. GladiKnow, an advanced people search technology, can search through public records (both online and offline) to locate your birth parents or any family member. All you need to do is type in the subject’s name and location and the platform instantly searches over 600 million records on anyone in the U.S. including home address, phones, emails, criminal records (if any), and other family members. It even provides you information on their employment and education history, bankruptcies, social media accounts, and more.
It is comforting to know that if you are curious about your biological parents, there are these affordable resources out there to aid you in your search. For more information on people search engines and how they work, check out this great video.
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